She waits for me, my lady Earth, Smiles and waits and sighs; I'll say her nay, and hide away, Then take her by surprise

Ugh I hate the rain it is fuckin pouring out massive buckets of rain plus thunder and lighting. Yuck and I have to work in this shit yipee I suppose I will get my ass up and get ready now oh yeah an after thought lost my Ipod yesterday.

Edit found the Ipod under the car seat

2007 My year in review

Well let’s see I realized I am never getting him back, strike one for me being a cold-hearted bitch. I was and am still threatened with the state of CT taking away my kids (sorry if I don’t want them to turn into part of the mindless, soulless, heartless masses fuck you to). I wouldn’t say dated but had a casual relationship with a guy that made me realize that it is ok to be me curves and all (thanks lover). I lost one of the longest friendships that I have ever had 15 years gone in the blink of an eye (Judas). Every day was and still is a struggle to not want to swallow the whole damm bottle of pills or run a razor blade down my arm. I am obsessed with death life is just a gun barrel to our heads. I am going down with the grace of a sinking ship. Hopefully 2008 will be better and if not at least I am still alive if you can call this living.

Reading: A Thread Of Grace (still)
Listening To: Beautiful -Smashing Pumpkins

If love will finds its way, then it must be lost!

I am starting to understand why women become lesbians men FUCKIN suck do they ever grow up I think it might be Peter Pan syndrome is there such a thing.

Currently Reading: A Thread of Grace
Currently Listenting: Even Angels Fall Michelle Branch

CPS/DCF Rant Quote

"A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known, and he carries his banners openly. But the traitor moves among those within the gates freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very hall of government itself. For the traitor appears no traitor. He speaks in the accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their garments, and he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in hearts of men. He rots the soul of a nation. He works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of a city. He infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A Murderer Is Less To Be Feared." Cicero, 42 B.C.

“One should rather die than be betrayed. betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope"

It feels like some might as well have stuck a knife in my heart and twisted. It would be much less painful and do its job for more quickly. I wish for her downfall like she brought upon mine.

Fire,Ice, and cold hearted bitches

This friendship has gone up in flames, just remember who lit the match.

Currently Listening To- Goo Goo Dolls-Iris
Currently Reading- A Thread Of Grace by Mary Doria Russell

Et tu, Brute

So now they have become like Judas
Although I must say they do command I much higher price
He only got 30 pieces of silver,Instead they want my son
I can kind of understand how Jesus and Julius Caesar must have felt
To know that you have been betrayed by one of your best friends
And to rub salt in the wound your parents help them
Of course my mother always did have her Medea like qualities.
So do I go down fighting or just roll over and play dead.
I do not know nor do I understand there reasoning behind this.
However it is pretty sad when it no longer hurts maybe it is because
I have no heart or soul left just a black shell

Currently Listening: Nine Inch Nails Closer
Currently Reading : East Of Eden