Homosexuality is a discovery, not a choice or a sin

Ok so a friend of mine thinks I just outed myself tonight. We got on the topic of what if sex partners (oh come on everyone has had this convo at least once). She says that there has to be at least 1 gay exception my response “I can only have one”. She asks how many I have and I say idk maybe 3 or 4. Her “ ok bitch you been holding off you just outed yourself”. So the point of that long winded intro is, why can I not say another female is nice, gorgeous, or totally fuckable if I was gay and it not be bad come on we live in 2008 here jeez people.

And just because the finale list females included

Angelina Jolie
Natalie Portman (around the time the movie closer was made)
Amy Lee (Evanescence)
Matthew McConaughey (circa 1996 to 1998)
Joshua Jackson

Breakdown, Break Free, Break Out

Not sure which one of these three I want or need to do.
Most of the time it feels like I am treading water in the middle of an undertow.
Should I try to keep above or just let it swallow me whole?
All we have left our five minute conversations on the phone and I’m not sure if I can take much more of this solitude.
Whoever said life is what you make it never had there’s ripped out from under them.

Currently Listening – Long Black Veil
Currently Reading – The Handmaids Tale

My Tiny Dancer

So I finally got it yes I love it. There’s something cathartic about it. It's like a safe way of hurting yourself I know that sounds bad.

However anybody that tells you it dont hurt is full of shit.

Cruel Heartless Bitch

Am I cruel?
Absolutely

Am I heartless?
At one point no but now yes (what did expect you took my kids).

Do I hate you?
I can never hate but I also don’t think its love anymore.

God is closest to those with broken hearts.

So this is what it feels like to have your life ripped out from under you. Amazing how it doesn't really hurt anymore just kind of a dull ache in my heart. Right at the spot that used to hold there hearts goodbye my lovely boys mommy always loved you.

Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean that her heart doesn't cry and just because she comes off strong doesn't mean there's nothing wrong. ...

Don't play with my trust. It's like glass broken easily, and almost impossible to fix.

Each betrayal begins with trust.

How does it feel to know you have betrayed the one person you were supposed to love unconditionally? Have fun fixing your mistakes just remember I was one of them or so you always told me.